trapped in my mind, begging to be said.but i cant tell you.

youre everything to me and i cant stand not having you in my life. i havent had a completely happy day since that early morning, march 30 at 1:14 am. i want to die without you. im so glad the school year is over because i cant focus anymore. im jsut giving up. i dont know what i want in life anymore. i feel like im nothing. i feel like a useless piece of shit. why am i not good enough? i want to know so i can change. if i ever find someone as amazing as you one day, i dont want to lose them.i dont want to make these same mistakes. i dont know exactly what i did to lose you, but i want to change so it wont happen again.i cant forgive myself. i took you for granted, i fought with you, and i pulled you too close. i caused this and i will NEVER forgive myself for it. i wish i could though. i want you back so badly. you gave me love, happiness, you made me smile and laugh, you gave me the strength and courage i need to survive in life. you supported me and my dreams, i wanted to support you too so i changed my entire future.i dont know what to do anymore. and its killing me.i wanna die with you, in your arms, i will always love you. i meant everything ive ever said to you.