DAY63.

i might forget to post later, so heres so far of today.

i have thought of a few more things to add to mine and kiens bucketlist.
i have thought about you, and i still love and miss you, but thats life.
we are facebook friends again.its nice.

day62 cont

i didnt help the healing process tonight.

i looked at old facebook messages from you.

they said how much you loved and missed me, about how you cried while i was in california.

and i found this....

DAY62.

i missed day 61 but no biggie.

today i havent thought about you actually, until my borther said something.
but even after that, i wasnt upset.
i didnt care.
i feel so much better.
i dont mind living without you anymore.
and im loving it.

DAY60.

i have missed you a little today.
i havent cried, and i dont really want to.

but i have decided to create an online journal, and then also a journal that is handwritten, and this is where it starts,
on day sixty.
the day of hope, dreams, and the road to recoverya nd happiness.

i still love you,
but me and kien are making a bucketlist,
the first on mine, will be to fall in love with someone who loves me too.

im over dramatic.
im stupid.
i have anger problems.
and i do things that dont make sense.
and im sorry.

but i love you and i miss you.


i feel over you, i just hate that you are over me.and it hurts that you dont care, and that you really never did.

i.want.to.die.
i dont care how emo, how stupid, or whatever this sounds.
i already dont feel alive anymroe.

all i want for my birthday is to kiss you.

i cant handle it all.

baby; i need you now more than ever.
i want to work it out.i jsut wish you did too.
i miss you so much, you are my other half.

im sorry i wasnt there for you.

R.I.P. UNCLE PRESLEY.
i love you so much.
ill see you again one day. ♥

my best friends are awesome.♥

jew.(: looking for the penny with the head up. :D

FAMILY.♥

we are missing a few, but i love these guys.(:

correction: had*

FUCK.

i wish this was us.

even though it still hurts.

its getting better.

im sorry for what i did, but im promising myself i wont.

in dreams, there is truth.

i cant give up now. if only you knew what i dreamt about.

remember this? probably not.

I BROKEDOWN.

i wish i knew how to tell you that i needed help.

ten from yesterday

1) i cant decide how i feel, its tearing me apart.
2) i like spending time with you.(:
3) i feel like i lead you on, but i dont mean to.
4) i miss you terribly.
5) the only time i can get you off my mind is when im doing something else. but as soon as im home, i remember.
6) sometimes i feel like we are still together, but you are just busy.
7) i regret it.
8) i cant wait for my sisterr.(((:
9) i think some people are catching on to me, in some ways i want them to so i can get help. but i dont want to be judged.
10) i do realize, i need help.

okay, so, ive realized now...
i couldnt actually believe youd be with your first girlfriend forever.
you need expirence.
but maybe after you get some, it can be our turn again.
maybe not, maybe ill find someone better,
maybe youll find someone better.
maybe we will never be together again.
or maybe we'll get married and follow our dreams.
but i know if you think youre heartbroken after a monthish, we couldnt be together until you feel what ive felt.
so when you do, if you still love me, let me know.because ill always love you.

lovers love, liars lie.

J U S T L E T M E D I E .

i know it was all fake,

i was silly to think a guy like you could love me.

its been 45 days of hell.

we lasted one year two months three weeks four days one hour and fourteen minutes.

ten.

1.) im sorry for hurting you. i hope you are over it.

2.) i didnt want it to be this way.

3.) i wish you would stop bringing it up because i dont even want it to happen.

4.) i wish there was something i could do to help, but you just have to understand.

5.) sometimes you are so adorable.(:

6.) brothers are nice, i really wish mine would visit right about now.

7.) you have to understand im not worth it.

8.) i dont want to hurt you.

9.) i want to get over you and move on.

10.) happiness.that would be lovely.

this is my final goodbye.its too hard to have you in my life at all.
i wish i could, but i jsut cant.
i need to move on and im sorry this had to happen to us.
youve taught me so much though.

and next time, i will make sure not too fall for someone that i cant live without.

i just realized, i helped myself lose you.

you said you didnt have time anymore.

but i pushed you to join a band and focus on music.

i wanted you to do more for school,

and i helped you get ready for your job interview.

im stupid.i guess it really was my fault.

but dont you remember, and miss it?even a little.

people tell me youre an asshole,

they say youre a douche and a dick.

they say you arent worth it.



i cant believe them, they dont knwo you like i do.

they dont know what it feels like to be held in your arms.

they dont know what it feels like to just laugh and talk and cry with you.

they dont know hoe sensitive and nice and sweet you can be.

they dont see the real you,

but i do.



please come back....

you are like a MONUMENT in my heart.forever.

its monday morning and i would kill for a chance to drive, far away form here with you my dear, and ill never leave your side. ♥

i miss you more than words can explain.
everytime i see your name, i remember writing it over and over in my journal.
i remember the thought of you and me together forever.
i remember your eyes, your skin, your smile, you hair, you lips, your hands.
i can feel you hugging me once again.

take it,

break it,

fake it,

and r-e-p-e-a-t.

you killed me t w i c e .

love is a game of pure luck,

well, lets roll the dice.

--original by me--

it kills me to see you upset about something.
especially this.i want to be the one you want.
i want to kiss you, and hold you, and talk to you.
i miss you so much.i still cry about it.
i want you back so bad.

so many feelings...GAH.
i cant even begin to describe whats going on in my head.
i need to vent so bad, but its too hard to explain in writing, yet to annoying and long to try and make someone understand.

lately, i have no idea how ive been feeling.

one day i like him, the next i like the other one, then five minutes later i remember you.

i cant control my feelings.

i cant control my life.

its getting out of hand,

and all i can think about,

is the touch of your lips on mine,

the feeling of you arms wrapped so tightly around me,

the tingles in my stomach when you looked into my eyes,

and most of all, i cant forget the way you could make me smile with three simple words.

I L O V E Y O U .

and i always will.i still promise.

the notebook.♥

heehee, way back from shakespeare insults.(:

ch ch chi chi chip and dale.rescue rangers.

"Letting go doesnt mean giving up, but rather accepting that there are things that cannot be."

-Anon.-

i understand.

"people have hard time letting go of their suffering.Out of fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familar."
-Thich Nhat Hanh.-

you make me smile alot, whenever i see you.

sometimes my heart jumps a little bit.

i complicated my life, but i just wish i could make it simple.

i r e a l l y l i k e y o u .

thats all.

i finally understand.(:

ILOVERMJVBOYSLAX.

ANDRAMIRO.

i like you, but i jsut dont know how to tell you.i dont know if i want to tell you.and i dont know what will happen if i do.

but you're a m a z i n g.

what a great day.(:

im glad we cleared the air, we can be friends.

you have no idea how happy this makes me. ♥

FREE GENNAA!!!!!!!!!!!!